You know you’re a freelancer when…
Enjoy your special and distinct freelancer woes
1. Your washing doesn’t include much business attire, but you have a sensational set of “work pyjamas”.
2. Freelancer debt collection is done through subtle begging and threats of standing outside non-paying businesses with cardboard signs stating “WILL WRITE COPY FOR FOOD”.
3. An agency calls and asks how much you know about aardvarks for a two day gig, you put down your latest cardboard sign and respond with gusto as you paraphrase Wikipedia and secretly hope they don’t think Jillian is an odd name for a supposed beloved childhood pet.
4. You would have an awesome relationship with your fellow “co-worker”, if only they would stop shedding on the work furniture, barking at the stereo or pooing in crazy places when you go out for your lunch break together.
5. The internet goes down and you suddenly feel very, very lonely.
6. The genuine surprise in your voice at being given a week to do something is evident down the phone line.
7. On any given day, your freelancer workflow can cover medicine, wine, product management, online kids games, tee shirts, strippers, St Patrick’s Day photo competitions and thinking of names for businesses who encourage people to share drills.
8. You are completely up to date with breaking news, such as Donald Trump’s ugly yet strangely fascinating meltdown- and can justify this knowledge as “studying the effects of social media on viral video campaigns”.
9. When a tradesman asks you if you can be home from work to let them in, you have to stop for a moment wondering what the hell they are talking about.
10. Despite early starts and late nights, and that seemingly unnatural relationship you have with your beloved laptop Schmitty or the level of conversation you now share with your Labrador, the dust bunnies in your bank account and the fact you ingest enough caffeine to kill a small but chunky rhino on a daily basis, you’re still smiling.