Why great business copywriting is like underwear

Why great business copywriting is like underwearLots of things can happen to a freelance copywriter’s brain as they fold the washing. Like realising just how closely related business copywriting and underwear is.

No folks, I haven’t been hitting the whisky jug again.

Let me share 7 reasons why I think business copywriting is like underwear.

1)      You can choose functional, fun or form fit

The functional copy- Business copywriting can be as simple as finally distilling the message of a new product. Or it can be to allay fears and educate customers. The great functional copywriting doesn’t win awards because it simply fits with the product. Kind of like your most dependable knickers or jocks.

The fun copy- Hello sexy times! A little bit of seduction, teasing and blushing giggle can really make your copy shine. Having that secret and intimate conversation with your customer can really make them excited in all the right places. Kind of like your date night specials.

Form fit copy – When it comes to SEO, fitting into tight spaces, negotiating packaging or finding that frog bottom tight one liner, form fit copy is great for making the right impression. Here you have a lot of squeezing, shaping and support to make things look and feel as seamless as possible. This is the clever magic of the corset (with a dash of phwar! mixed in) or your granny panties (ala Bridget Jones enormous sensible pants).

2)      One person’s ‘just right’ is another person’s ‘oh no’

Business copywriting and underwear are both subjective. What suits you isn’t always going to suit the next person. Some of us feel entirely naked and barren without a lot of material to cover the pertinent bits. Others still would prefer the minimal look without wading through a lot of superfluous coverage, or wads of underwear up our butt.

And some, well, they prefer a little uhm…freedom (if you get my drift) to get a more natural feel.

As anyone who has ever had the embarrassing moment of your Dad yelling “how’s this for an over shoulder boulder holder?” at the top of his lungs in the department store (true story!) knows, what seems reasonable and right to you could be another person’s private teenage hell.

So choosing the right kind of business copywriting and copywriter for your business can be a deeply personal thing.

3)      You need to shop around for comfy copy

Unless you want to end up with hungry bum syndrome or a lot of side boob, buying straight off the underwear rack is nearly impossible without a little bit of experience and education.

Business copywriting is exactly the same.

Yes, you can get someone to weave words cheaply off an eBidding site, but let’s face facts here. Nobody really wants their first experience with your business to resemble the personality of a no-name brand, off-the-shelf budget pair of possibly malfunctioning tighty-whities.

In order to have marketing and copywriting that fits the shape of your business and works in a way you want them to, you’ll need to do a bit of tyre kicking. You simply won’t get the same joy or comfort buying your copy at auction.

4)      Once you find what is right, it becomes a lot easier

The first six months of you and your underwear’s friendship is golden (I mean that in a good way!). Here is the time you’ll determine if your latest acquisition is indeed your go-to garment.

Business copywriting shares this same thing.

Within the first 6 months, you’ll be able to see traffic changes to your website. You’ll notice if sales become easier to acquire. Customer service could become a whole lot simpler. Your word of mouth could increase because people finally have the right words to describe what’s great about your business to their friends.

If it’s all good under the ‘hood, your copywriter can also come back to help you with other written aspects of your business. And like a trusty pair of superhero proof underpants, you’ll come to enjoy the kind of protection and reliability from your copywriter that helps your business merits grow.

5)      You can’t “try before you buy”

Any decent lingerie salesperson is going to be a tad alarmed by your request to ‘try before you buy’ when it comes to their delicates and finery. It’ll probably get you a free ride with the security guard and maybe a not-so friendly chat with a shopping centre manager.

While the ramifications may not be as confronting, business copywriting isn’t really a sample item either.

Taking a small slice of your project and asking a good freelance copywriter to try out for a job ignores the entire strategy.

Plus, it’s rude. A decent copywriter knows to have a website, a portfolio and a blog to demonstrate ability. When you ask for further proof than that through sampling, what you are really saying is “I haven’t bothered to check out what you do”. Try pulling it at a local cafe and see what reaction you get.

Besides this, all seasoned copywriters know what the “can you write me a sample?” means. It means you want a cheap, cheerful project or you haven’t committed fully to your idea. It’s announcing to your freelance copywriter that you are a PITA (pain in the ass).

And it usually means the good ones amongst us (i.e. the ones who have bookings and can pick and choose our projects) will often see this as a reason to pass you by.

You wouldn’t ask a lingerie assistant to take home a sample of sexy time tempters to share with your partner to see what they think and what their ‘reaction’ would be. You shouldn’t ask this of a business copywriter either.

6)      Changing your copy keeps it fresh and healthy

Always keep your underwear emergency ready. Keep it clean and fresh for your comfort as well as the comfort of everyone else around you. Nothing is more off putting than the vague whiff of personal inattention.

The same thing is true of your copy.

Google changes the search engine algorithms on a really regular basis. Every 6 to 12 months there is something that’ll need a bit of attention.

So to stay on trend with SEO copywriting, it’s a good idea to schedule a review every 24 to 36 months if you are using white hat techniques, and as soon as possible if you’ve started with things such as keyword stuffing, buying back-links and directory placements, spam and so on.

Besides, keeping your website fresh, cheerful and up to date via a copy review every couple of years means that as your business evolves, so too does your marketing.

And there’s nothing quite like slipping into a crisp, fresh set of word driven business marketing after a couple of hard worked years.

7)      It covers your butt when you need it the most

Nobody wants that moment where your skirt blows up and your bum is red with bare-naked embarrassment. You certainly don’t want it for your business!

Keep your butt covered by stating your privacy policies and terms in a way people can understand them. Make them customer accessible by placing them on your website or on your business assets for that added bit of safety.

Think about the frequently asked questions you receive and how you can translate this into brochures, web copy, blog posts and FAQ files that can assist with overcoming objectives and/or common customer issues.

And give enough information to promote your business and give your customers the facts they need to make an informed purchase decision as they consider you against your competitors.

Covering your butt means you don’t end up with any nasty surprises while also alleviating some of the scratching, itchy and annoying issues you can encounter.

Who doesn’t want that?!

The bottom (ha, see what I did there?!) line:

For comfort, support and the freedom to get on with the day without worrying if the basics are covered, you can’t go past decent business copywriting. It truly is the underwear of your business, no matter how sensible, sexy or supremely comforting it may be.

So what are you waiting for? I’ll show you mine if you show me yours and let’s get you into a fresh pair of trouser arousers today!


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